Feeling Loved

Where do you actually FEEL most loved during the week - by God, by others?

Christian asked me this question over the weekend. I keep reflecting on it, but am not sure what to do with it. It ought to be obvious... but it's not. I feel loved in the Cryder household, just by being included. Because I know you all accept me just as I am (although I still perversely feel the need to earn it... but I'm working on that). I'm happy just to not feel like I'm in the way, to not be incessantly self-conscious. For me, the "feeling" of being loved is just being able to be myself and not have to prove anything.

Where does that fit it in on the God level? I think this ties in with the sermon on Sunday about missing God through trying to be good. If I can't even measure up to my own standards, how can God ever accept me just as I am?

I have seen grace in action in the past weeks on the human level, and I'm trying to translate that into a clearer comprehension of it in my relationship with God. But I don't honestly know where I feel loved by God during the week. I still mostly feel like He's trying to break me. And maybe that's exactly what He's doing. Love doesn't always feel like love. And I'm certainly no expert on what it's supposed to feel like, even if I could trust my feelings. And we've been over that part...