I seem to have lost my narrative under a rubble heap of quote-age for the worship guides. The week in review:
Movie night at Jeni's super secret mountain hideaway. I got totally stressed out about it up front, but have to admit that, post-meltdown, with Cryder reinforcements, all went well. 16 humans watching Gran Torino in my living room, then chatting at the firepit under unbelievable stars til early morning. Sleeping in my own bed with Scout, and Christian, Malachi, and Rebekah downstairs – big breakfast of eggs and bacon, and back to reality, such as it is.
Dad was in the hospital for a while (8 liters of fluid drained from his abdomen!), but seems... okay, I suppose... now. My shin is still all curvy and bruised from a fall I took on the steps of the Cryder's deck nearly a month ago, but is oh so slowly healing. My moods refuse to stabilize, but some days are good. The "Beat the Heat" party with Cash for Junkers is tomorrow, and then Christian and the kids leave for the hiking part of their vacation on Monday.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
July 16, 2009
There is a Jonah in all of us.
Part of us wants the rights and privileges of playing God (preferably without the responsibilities attached!). But true judgment is the Lord's. He says not only, "Look at what you've DONE!", but more essentially, "Look at what I'm DOING!!!" Our faith is word-based – based, in fact, on THE Word, Logos (not deed-based!), but the words lead naturally, organically, to deeds.
Remember, the Fruit of the Spirit IS (not are)...
Part of us wants the rights and privileges of playing God (preferably without the responsibilities attached!). But true judgment is the Lord's. He says not only, "Look at what you've DONE!", but more essentially, "Look at what I'm DOING!!!" Our faith is word-based – based, in fact, on THE Word, Logos (not deed-based!), but the words lead naturally, organically, to deeds.
Remember, the Fruit of the Spirit IS (not are)...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
July 14, 2009
Turned down the "Dreamgirls" tour this morning. I've either officially gone off the deep end, or am actively trusting God to fulfill His plan for my life. Time will tell!
Friday, July 10, 2009
July 10, 2009
It has been a rough week. So (as instructed) I am going to make a list of things I am thankful for...
For yet another glorious Montana summer morning
My wonderful neurotic Scout-monster
And adopted family who keeps me accountable yet loves me in the midst of my messiness
An actual family who's always got my back
Good food, and the ability to enjoy it again
The financial security to have a nervous breakdown and have it not ruin me
A body that still works even when it's cranky about it
A place to sleep where I feel safe
Sleep in general
The ability to feel again even when I don't like what, or how much, I feel
The opportunity to serve, in whatever small way, in this fledgling community of other messes
For yet another glorious Montana summer morning
My wonderful neurotic Scout-monster
And adopted family who keeps me accountable yet loves me in the midst of my messiness
An actual family who's always got my back
Good food, and the ability to enjoy it again
The financial security to have a nervous breakdown and have it not ruin me
A body that still works even when it's cranky about it
A place to sleep where I feel safe
Sleep in general
The ability to feel again even when I don't like what, or how much, I feel
The opportunity to serve, in whatever small way, in this fledgling community of other messes
Saturday, July 4, 2009
July 4, 2009
It is not a question of worshiping or not worshiping (Instruments, Tripp p. 66), any more than it is a question of choosing or not choosing (Depression book). We do these things whether we mean to or not. There is no fence. There is no middle ground.
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